Coping with loneliness and anxiety during these unprecedented times

Dear friends and neighbors, what a difference a month can make. As I write this, we’re all under a “Shelter at Home” order. For us in Hideaway, a very close- knit, highly social community, it can be particularly difficult to adapt to this sudden and prolonged withdrawal from the many social connections that we rely on so heavily, not only during normal days but during other times of stress and uncertainty.

We love getting together with our friends and family. We love our social gatherings – church services, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, sports, games, clubs and parties. All of those have come to a complete standstill and will likely stay that way for possibly many more weeks. Most of us, to varying degrees, will have a tough time dealing with both the physical and mental ramifications of isolation and information overload.

The first thing that we can all do right now to reduce stress and anxiety is to take a break from TV news and social media. It is important to stay informed, but there is no need to be watching or reading news 24/7. Set specific times when you will watch the news on TV or interact on social media. Otherwise, all we hear and read about all day long is the coronavirus. This is not healthy because we can start to see things more negatively than they really are. It will be easy for us to forget that there is still plenty of good happening all around us as well.

We can get paranoid about one cough, one sneeze, the slight warmth of our skin – do I have coronavirus, does my grandma, does my child? We can become suspicious and fearful of others. We might verbally attack or Facebook shame the person on the street that coughed once without covering his mouth because he had some food stuck in his throat or swallowed the wrong way. For those with pre-existing anxiety, these fears can quickly escalate to panic, which in turn can raise blood pressure and sugar, which can then affect the heart, brain and kidneys. See the cascade effect? And to make matters worse, our dear friends can’t hold our hands or give us a hug to let us know that we will make it through.

Now that we’ve turned off our favorite news channels and snoozed our fear-mongering Facebook friends for a few days, let’s try to find ways to calm and uplift ourselves. Our community has already come up with creative ways to let neighbors know that we care – the teddy bears and hearts on people’s porches and windows, the positive photos on social media, and the neighborhood walks with friendly waves and micro visits while practicing social distancing. But let’s not forget those that live alone, are too debilitated to go out on walks, or are not on social media to connect with the rest of us. Make a special effort to reach out to them with a friendly call, maybe a longer one than usual. Let them share their fears and worries with you. Ask them if they need any help. Don’t hesitate to tell a friend, neighbor or the administration if you are lonely or afraid. We know you are there and we want to help you. Call the volunteer group in Hideaway.  They will be able to connect you with the right person or organization.

And finally, don’t forget to maintain your usual healthy lifestyle – lots of vegetables and whole grains for vitamins and minerals (stores were fully stocked with these items every time I’ve been), lots of water to stay well hydrated (you don’t need bottled water, our tap is just fine), and plenty of exercise, fresh air and sunshine for a mood boost. You can incorporate meditation, mindfulness and thankfulness to your daily routine. Meditation has been shown to be very effective in decreasing anxiety as well as blood pressure. So maybe try one of the free popular meditation apps on your smartphone. Use technology for all its benefits. Maybe you’ve never used video chat before but are longing to see, not just hear people. Don’t hesitate, get on that video chat now. If you don’t know how, just call one of the many savvy kids in town, they’ll get you going right away.

We know from the rest of the world that this virus can be controlled. Normal (almost) life has begun again in Taiwan, South Korea and Singapore. Normal life will begin again for us too.